Nightfall

Aside from the dramatic title I came up with for this entry, what else is to be appreciated about night time? Well, like Batman, I do all my work at night, due to a recent schedule change, so I have experience in living, working and even walking in it.

Darkness tends to scare most people, but why? Because of the unknown, the lack of light, weird noises in the dark areas or does it go deeper? How about a forebode to anxiety? The emotion of anxiety plays a specific role in our behavioral responses to stimuli just as the emotions of love, anger, and sadness do, acting to increase our ability to cope with stress and more fully exploit beneficial opportunities. It's a natural reaction, or so it would seem!

While anxiety is deeply rooted in our psyche, it is not entirely instinctive. We also learn fear and anxiety responses from our parents. If a small child is frightened of an new or unknown object and its mother responds in a calming manner, the kid learns that the item is not a threat. If the parent responds with apprehension herself, however, the child's fears are confirmed and enhanced. This allows for the child to rapidly learn of the dangers around themselves without actually having to be bitten by snakes, mauled by lions, or be electrocuted by a penny in the wall socket while simultaneously figuring out that everything from leaves and small rocks to thunder and scary scenes on TV aren't actual threats.

Crazy, right? It's all about upbringing! Personally, my upbringing was all over the place; moving between divorced parents, different schools, etc. For all the situations that were presented to me, I had to learn to adapt and overcome fairly quickly to any fears; especially crabs! The crustacean, not the other things. (You have a dirty mind!) Anyway, moving around so much was, in a way, a bonus to my childhood, because it allowed me to develop more quickly in the area of recognizing fears, the unknown and the dark. 

One part of my childhood had been spent in one-bedroom lakeside house with a poorly lit living room, where I slept. The house was older, and was more akin to trailer, but it was a roof, nonetheless. At night, I usually moved from the couch down to the floor, I was weird like that; from a soft place with cushions to a shag carpet floor. (It was kept very clean, by the way!) While sleeping on the floor, I would stare up at the ceiling before falling asleep, and would get a view of a statue of an Indian artwork that was placed on a small wall that separated the kitchen from the living room.

This "art" piece was of a face at one end, and what looked like a stream of clouds at the other. Maybe two feet in length and only about a foot high. The "clouds" were bent in the middle so as to look like the face at the front was flying through them, in an upwards motion. It may not sound so bad, at first, but when this statue was lit with the wrong kind of light in the middle of the night, it took on the liking of a creature of doom! It scared the shit out of me, for lack of a better euphemism. So, how did I deal with the Indian of Doom? Well, my father was never one to shy away from what might of scared him, at least not how I knew him. So, drawing from my time with him, I worked up the courage to one night just sit and stare at the art piece.

Wait, sit and stare? Yep! It worked, too. I sat for, at least, two to three hours just watching it and having courage to not look away. I was afraid that the head might turn and look straight at me, or the mouth will move and utter a shriek of unnatural sound. It never did, though, and nor did I! It was a test for me. A test of my being strong and facing my fears; my darkness, if you will. The next day, I asked my father about the statue and the only thing I remember him saying was that is was made of clay. A face statue of clay; "clayface". Yea, you got that right! I face off against one of Batman's greatest nemeses...kinda.

Moving on; my life took a small turn for the better when I "faced" off with my fear that night, and I grew towards the man I would become, today. Sure, there are still somethings that give me the creeps; Mama June, the human-thumb, for example!


Pictured above: The face of evolution failing, horribly! Let's hope her daughter knows better! (Long shot.)

Right, so as I was saying; facing your fear, your darkness, is the key to overcoming it. You can run all you want, but much like good ol' horror film villains, it will enventually catch up with you! Face it head on, and never flinch. Thanks for reading!